


My Arms Are Doors I Cannot Close

by liketogetlost



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-23 05:37:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/618688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liketogetlost/pseuds/liketogetlost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's waiting at the doors of the mansion when they return. The smell of sea air lingers on her hair and his goodbye is still in stains on the ripe apples of her cheeks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Arms Are Doors I Cannot Close

**Author's Note:**

> Post 'Waters of Mars'.

_I was thinking this is intelligence,  
this is the wisest tongue  
since the Oracle got into a Greek's ear,  
speaking sense. It's the Good,_

_defining itself. I was out of my mind.  
She was in._

\--

He can't read himself.

Over the fan of the cards, his own endless stare cuts blankly down to his quick and it's never felt like this before. All the clocks in the world stop and he's only left with himself to deal with. His hand mocks him, the image of the King jumps onto the table and scurries over the edge. The Queen smiles knowingly while the Jack sits, fixed and waiting impatiently. Two Jokers from the deck dance, skipping across the table and he feels tired. Every breath he takes is thick with the dust of death and he chokes, coughs before he pushes all his chips forward with shaking hands.

“All in.”

And he cracks, vanishes to nothing before his eyes, but not without one last smile. 

Somewhere, before the darkness takes him, he hears the mad laugh of the mastermind.

\--

He gambles it all for her.

Ashes, ashes, and the walls fall down.

\--

He's waiting at the doors of the mansion when they return. The smell of sea air lingers on her hair and his goodbye is still in stains on the ripe apples of her cheeks.

“Hello.” His wave matches his eyes, frantic and silly and he can see her legs shaking as she takes each step, _hurry, hurry_ , closer to him.

A ghost of a smile on her lips, a small bit of fear in her eyes. “What did you do?” But her mind and her heart still switched, her lungs still full of sand and stars.

“I came back. I thought, life's too short not to spend it with the woman you love. Plus it was getting right awkward talking to myself all the time.”

The furrow in her brow makes his hearts flutter, and he reaches out to her before she can think twice. “Do you want to come with me?”

He'll steal her, if he has to.

\--

Not a day goes by when he doesn't tell her he loves her. Everything spills from his mouth like tea from a kettle.

"Rose, Rose, Rose. Stop using your tongue in such a way lest you make me retaliate with my own." When she blushes, he plants her cheeks with kisses until they bloom even darker.

He uses the TARDIS to break into Disney World when it's closed so they can ride everything without waiting. She places Mickey Mouse ears on his head and he a Cinderella crown on her own. They sing "It's A Small World After All" at the top of their lungs and ride the tea cups until he vomits banana slush puppy all over his shoes. 

In first century Italy they take their place in the audience of the Colosseum to watch ancient gladiators fight to the death. Rose has to pull him back to the TARDIS when he runs down to try to combat with a tiger. 

They make love throughout history. He buys her expensive, intricately made gowns and takes her to long operas just so he can dive under the skirts and torture her with his tongue, timing her orgasms with the higher notes of the score. He punches a guy on Bourbon street when he yells at Rose to take off her top. She sees to his wounds with peroxide and band aids and before she can place the last one on his forehead he's kissing her jaw and quoting poetry into her neck.

Somewhere along the line, they lose themselves.

\--

"I'm tired. And the universe bends to the push of a few buttons."

And like that, the chips fall. The Time War is only a false memory in his mind.

\--

"What did you do?"

Her voice chips at the cracks in his mind.

"Look at the skies! I haven't seen them in so long. Rose, you have to taste a traditional Gallifreyan Sunday roast! Nothing like it in the galaxy. Mind you, I won't be cooking it. Never was worth much in the kitchen myself. Oh, I have to show you the old Academy! Wonder if I can find my old yearbooks. You think my hair is a sight these days..." 

She won't take his hand.

"Rose. Please."

It all begins to unravel. 

\--

"I want it all! Why can't I have it?"

There's the laugh again. Laced with hatred and insanity. "Oh, but you can. You're just too scared." 

Someone's knocking at the door.

\--

"Doctor, you have to stop this."

Twisting, turning, the chain of his time line tightens around his throat. He begins to forget things that never happened. The sights he never saw and the lives he never lived. He never tells her to run and she doesn't swing, life and love and _Rose_ into his arms.

Words keep spilling, puddled on the floor, and he doesn't know what he's saying anymore. Breaths come like heaving boulders and he grips her hand hard enough to hurt. "Always wanted to tell you, bloody fucking daft not to. I love you, Rose Tyler. S'my favorite, kissing you and running with you and you're fantastic, really. I can hear him knocking, Rose, and I think you're right. 

I think it's time."

She nods, tears never spilt falling from her eyes to his mouth. He swallows her sadness before she tells him he has to go. "Mad thing. I love you for trying." She means forever, ever ever, and always. 

\--

Coordinates set for his death, he blinks and she ceases to exist.

\--

"You're gonna have a great year."

"You think so, huh? Maybe if I could find a bloody job."

He chuckles and somehow, he hears the mad laugh of the mastermind fading from his memory. "I heard Henrik's was hiring."

"Shop girl, huh? Reaching for the stars!" She rolls her eyes, wind and snow whipping through her hair and she wants so much, he can see it glowing in her veins.

"Oh, you'll be brilliant. Rose Tyler." 

"How did you -- " Her mum calls, and he grabs her hand. 

"Absolutely brilliant. I love you." She squeaks when he presses his lips to hers, their first kiss goodbye.

He lets her go and smiles as she holds his kiss between her lips, shock and intrigue a mix in her eyes. To the sky above, he shouts it one last time. "Happy New Year, Rose Tyler! I love you!"

He can feel her watching him as he turns, can hear Jackie yelling at her to hurry along. His last breath ends on a laugh when she tells Rose to pick up some mouth wash along with the wine.

 

Snow catches on his heavy eyelids, and he can still feel the warmth of her kiss.

\--

And so they end, only to begin again.


End file.
